. . .i dun wanna cry much anymore. . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

im back n here is my new look. 

Well at first, i decided not 2 change it bcoz i like da way it was.

 Actually, cuz i like black.

Why not? Black is awesome, fantastic, stylish, simple,

n watever cool things human can think about.

But now i changed my mind.

i juz choose 2 switch my favourite colour

from black 2 anything light.

i mean, change my life 2 da better one.

Last night,

i jz found something miracle happening 2 me.

i was reading al-quran when ‘something’ asked me

2 read da meaning of da very next verse where i was reading.

It was Al-Qasas: 77.

"Dan tuntutlah dgn harta kekayaan yg telah dikurniakan Allah kpdmu

akn pahala n kebahagiaan hari akhirat

n jgnlah engkau melupakan bekalanmu

dr dunia n berbuat baiklah (kpd hamba2 Allah)

sebagaimana Allah berbuat baik kpdmu

(dgn pemberian nikmatNya yg melimpah2)

n jgnlah engkau melakukan kerosakan d muka bumi

sesungguhnya Allah x suka kpd org2 yg berbuat kerosakan". 

After reading it, i really had decided

dat i wanted 2 change da way of my life.

i do… Yes, i do… i want 2 forget every burning things b4.

Yes, i am going 2 learn 2 forget about it. 

ya Allah, You know… im weak… im totally weak…

n there is nothing dat i can do without Your help.

You r everything. 

i wanted 2 change my life…

Plezz help me 2 turn my sadness into kindness,

my uniqueness into strength.

Plezz Allah… You r my only hope. 

yaAllah… if You let me, i’ll be da princess of da day tomorrow.

So, i really have 2 change my life.

i‘ll start a very new life with You by my side.

i do need You so. 

i hope i'll change. i dun wanna cry much anymore.

i wanted 2 face dis life with full happiness.

i'll try 2 take a rossy view 2 myself after dis.

n i'll try 2 accept everybody in my life no matter who they are..

nota kaki :

alhamdulillah, selamat n setel sudah our engagement day siang td.

hope sumenye dipermudahkan, insyaAllah. :)

. . .waiting for something. . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

At least i write something today. 

Something 2 express my feeling..

i jz want 2 write n write n write. 

i'm waiting 4 something 2 happen...

i waited patiently...

hopefully...

i was almost frustrated

but i won't let it..cause i'm strong..

i'm determined...

im lying if i say i dun care at all.

i DO care

nearly break into tears 

but i keep telling myself..

be patient..be patient yep ainie...

give yrself some time..haishh..

be patient..

be patient...

be patient..

"Allahumma laa sahlaa illa maa ja'altahu sahla..

wa anta taj'alul huzna in syi'ta sahlaa..."

Ya Allah..xde yg mudah melainkan apa yg Kau permudahkan,

n Engkau berkuasa mnjadikan kesusahan itu

suatu kemudahan dgn kehendakMu....

nota kaki :

baru sj selesai menyiapkan chocolate cup cakes :)

. . .After TOday. . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

after today..

im not sure sama ada still mampu

utk senyum seperti biasa atau sebaliknya.

Apabila yg manis bertukar pahit,

yg masin menjadi tawar,

ntah bila sumenya akn kembali neutral.

Pahit utk ditelan, syg utk dibuang..

sungguh, setiap manusia pasti akn diuji..

buat kamu, kamu n kamu,

thanks a lot coz tanpa kamu, kamu n kamu,

sy xkn dpt melihat kelemahan yg ada pd diri..

dun wori, sy xkn ssekali halang korg dari berperasaan cmtu,

coz semestinya sy x de kuasa

utk menahan perasaan manusia,

n sy jgk xde kuasa

utk wt sumeorg syg pd diri yg hina ni.

Ingat, manusia boley berubah..

boley jd suatu hari nnti mereka2

yg kamu x suke 2 mnjadi lebih baik dari kamu :)

even apa pon yg kite wt,

kita tetap x kan dpt mencapai tingkat kesempurnaan,

coz SEMPURNA itu hanya milik Dia.

Apa yg pasti,

sy tetap akn berubah cz sy sendiri ade kelemahan

yg sgt pyh utk ubati..

yg paling utama, kerana apa n utk apa sy berubah.

wahai manusia, sy xkan berubah kerana kamu.




nota kaki :
to MR Suhaimi, debar menanti hari yg semakin hampir.
^_^

. . . tHanks Allah . . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

You know today im rely confused. 

i dun understand about what's happening around me. 

im week & i need Your help. 

Please Allah... show me what's da best.

i believe in You.

Please listen 2 what i say.

Please guide me 2 da right path.

Please help me 2 face my difficult days.

i lay everything on You cuz i trust You most.

You know how dreadful i feel.

im confused & i dun know what 2 do.

it rely pinched my heart

but i believe You have da reason why everything is happening.

Plez help me 2 smile & 2 be strong.

Even if i cry a well of tears,

i know dat i still won't get da answer 4 what im facing.

so Allah, i rely everything on You..

today, in da evening when i gaze at da bright blue sky,

i realize dat You r alwayz there 4 me.

You alwayz being there 2 listen,

You alwayz being there 2 wipe my tears away,

& You understand me 4 everything dat make me hurt.

So plez... help me 2 be tough.

Thanx Allah atas jawapan-MU..

sy ada buat istikharah.

Istikharah tntg ketentuan hidup yg x sy tahu pengakhirannya.

Perasaan time tu keliru, gamam, kaku, lesu.

Ditelan mati emak, diluah mati bapak.

tapi after wt istikharah,

sy still musykil dgn apa yg sy lalui,

ragu dgn tindakan yg seharusnya sy amik.

n today, Allah da gtau jawapannya,.lega !

sy da x ragu2 lg n skrg sy lebih tenang lalui kehidupan.

Mmg benar ssungguhnya Allah itu lah sebaik2 tempat bergantung,

Apa gunenya sy bahagia sedangkan jiwa org yg sy syg tersiksa?

Dan harini, Allah da bagi jawapan yg cukup jelas

dan sy menjadi semakin yakin utk menempuh hari yg mendatang.

Alhamdulillah syukur ya Allah...

^_^

nota kaki :

Allah is the BEST planner for us :)

~ For u My Dear ~

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Dear Mr Suhaimi,

I’m really sori 4 what had happened. 

I try 4 alwayz being by yr side, 

but Im sori cuz i can’t. 

I tried my best but i feel like completely a loser. 

I have nothing 2 give n nothing either 2 share.

 Sori but dis is da only thing dat i can give.

Mr Suhaimi,

u know dis is what life is all about.

Sometimes, something just happen dat makes u cry over n over,

trying 2 make yrself comfort after yr heart broken into pieces. 

Sometimes u can’t even forgive yrself 4 wat had happened. 

u see, life is nothing but a road. 

u just have 2 continue walking through it no matter what it takes.

Really hope u’ll be strong, dear. 

Cuz I lv u damn much !

Do u ever hear dat sadness is often 

from da devil n is a kind of hopelessness? 

Yep~ it truly is… dis is a test. 

u have some pain n u suffering alone.

Even when u tell me every single bitterness dat u face in yr daily life, 

i still never can feel wat u really feel.

i just can cry n help u just a lil bit as a fiancee

who lives in dis world just 4 a while.

Mr Suhaimi…

u know dat when Allah gives tests 4 us,

it doesn’t mean dat He forget about us.

it means dat He loves us, right? 

i still remember da moment when u tell me not 2 worry about u

bcoz Allah asks u 2 be patient. 

So i hope u r truly oke rite now.

Just remember, my dear. 

When u carrying a monster load n u wonder how far u can go, 

with every step on dat road dat u take, Allah knows. 

Allah knows all yr pain, all of da tenderness..

Allah knows every single tear dat u drop frm yr eyes. 

Allah knows all of it…

So there’s nothing 2 worry much. 

u have a plan but Allah has a bigger plan 

n His plan is always da better. 

u say dat u want 2 live happily evr after. InsyaAllah u will !

i just hope 4 u everything better. So juz smile, oke? 

i agreed dat happiness is da key 4 u 2 smile, 

but do remember sometimes a smile is da key 4 u 2 be hepi.

^_^

nota kaki :

alwayz believe in Allah. 

listen 2 yr heart. trust yr instincts. :)

. . . .Hope u'll Be Strong. . . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

It’s juz a simple sharing. 

May Allah bless da reader. InsyaAllah…

Setiap apa yg dtg pasti akn pergi. 

Ini mmg fitrah kehidupan yg perlu kte trima. 

Tp ketahuilah bahawa Allah x penah mengambil sesuatu dr kte

kecuali Dia menggantikannya dgn yg lebih baik.

“Sesiapa yg Aku ambil 

org yg dicintainya d dunia tetap mgharap redhaKu, 

nescaya Aku akn menggantikannya dgn syurga”

-Hadith Qudsi.

So we dun have 2 feel down 4 what had happen…

 coz Allah yg menentukan segalanya.

 Bkn ke Allah itu sebaik2 perancang? 

 Bkn ke Allah tahu segalanya? 

He knows da best 4 us so plez keep on smiling. 

I remembered dat someone once told me

dat it’s okay if u wanna cry, 

but dun ever ever forget 2 smile back.

n if u ever wonder about 

what’s going 2 happen after u face a disaster, 

jz remember dat Allah never forgets u. 

He’s near 2 us, always willing 2 hear us cry.

So u dun have 2 worry if u have nobody 2 turn 2 

cuz Allah is alwayz there 4 u… 

Juz call upon Him, insyaAllah there’s alwayz a way.

“Ingatlah, sesungguhnya bantuan Allah itu sangat dekat…”

(Surah Al-Baqarah: 214)

Dlm sebuah hadis, Rasulullah ada menyebut,

“Ketahuilah bahawa bantuan itu ada bersama kesabaran

n jalan keluar itu selalu ade dgn cubaan.

Jgn sedey2 sbb kita masih berpeluang utk berdoa. 

Kte jgk masih ade waktu utk merapatkan dahi ke tanah utk bersujud.

(Dipetik dari ‘La Tahzan’)

Kte jgk perlu ingat, 

dtgnya ujian n cubaan bkn brmakne kte dilupai,

tp itulah salah satu tanda Allah sygkn kte.

xde sape menafikan sakitnya hati apabila ditimpa musibah.

 Juz remember… 

bukannya Allah x tahu betapa sakitnya hati kte, 

n banyaknya air mata yg mengalir…

 tp Dia sengaja dtgkan ujian sbb Dia tahu dgn ujian,

 hati kte akn dekat pada-Nya…

nota kaki :

Anyway, hope u'll be strong dear…
 ^_^

. . .ya Allah, i'm smiling :') . . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

ya Allah, it's quite a long period when i didn’t feel da real pleasure of smiling. 

Now, i'm smiling n luv it so much.

 i promise 2 myself not 2 cry over da problem i'm facing right now anymore.

 At dis moment, i notice there is still a wonderful life with me. 

i'm amazed on how u created dis life 2 make da humans happy.

Last night when i look deeply at da charming bright stars floating in da sky,

 i can feel something special dat You gave me.

 Yep, i sense Your luv in my heart. 

 i didn’t even realize it was there anymore but actually, it is. 

i can feel dat You r always with me no matter wat. 

n dat feeling juz make me smile again. :')

yaAllah, tqs for accompanying me wen i'm alone. 

tqs 4 alwayz listening 2 me when i'm sad. 

tqs 4 understanding me when i'm disappointed.

 tqs for hugging me when i lose hope.

 tqs for alwayz holding my hands tightly 2 show me da way where i suppose 2 go on.

 tqs 4 never living me alone at my wits’ end.

 tqs 4 never turn Your back on me even when i turn my back on You.

 And finally, tqs 4 everything..

ya Allah, after You allow me 2 choose wat i wanted, 

You let my heart began 2 accept da reality dat is happening around me. 

tqs 4 helping me 2 choose my right decision cuz after dat, 

i began 2 start putting a hepi smile on my face.

ma n ayah, u alwayz try yr best 4 my goodness

 ‘til i dunno how 2 tq both.

 Sori if i had make yr heart broken 4 not listening 2 yr opinion. 

i knw im a quite hard-headed person.

 i’m deadly soriii 4 dat. 

After dis, i’ll b alwayz ready accepting watevr from u both.

 ya Allah, plez forgive all of my sins n my parents too.

 n plez do love them as how they loved me wen i’m little.

Mr Suhaimi,
 yesterday i jz told u dat i feel like wanted 2 go 2 da moon 

n shout 2 everyone dat im smiling.

 Well, glad 2 say dis 2 u…

im on da moon now n of course im totally blissful. :)

Mr Suhaimi,
 tqs 4 giving me strength 2 continue my life no matter how hard it is.

 i know u r quite unhappy 2 knw i was depressing yesterday. 

Anyway, let’s 2gether smile now bcoz now im.

Mr Suhaimi,
 tqs 4 yr believing.

 u’ve pray 4 me n trust me dat i can bring myself wherever i go. 

take gud care of bisnes n i hope 4 u da best, InsyaAllah..

 4 yr information, now im smiling 2 my ears.

Finally, 2 those who evr pray 4 me, worried bout me, 

or gave me force 2 face my life though its juz a little even i didn’t notice it, 

tqs a lot 4 being nice 2 me.

 i’ll remmber yr kindness as long as i live, insyaAllah..

nota kaki :

alhamdulillah, semakin hari sy semakin kuat, insyaAllah. :)

. . .Edisi Terlambat. . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

( ramadhan n doa )

Rasulullah penah bersabda :

" 3 golongan yg x d tolak doa mereka iaitu,

doa org yg berpuasa sehingga dy berbuka..

doa pemimpin yg adil..

n doa org yg d zalimi..

doa2 mereka d angkat oleh Allah, lalu dbuka pintu2 langit..

Allah berfirman :

Demi kemuliaanKu, Aku akn menolongmu..

-riwayat al-tarmizi dan ibn majah-

wahhh ! x akn ditolak ??

rugi kan kalo kite sia2kn tawaran hebat ni..

herm.. dgn rendah diri mohon ampun 

supaya Allah sucikan hati kite dr dosa2 yg d kumpul selame ni..

( ramadhan n memori )

tahun lps Ramadhan paling busy dlm dunia..

spesifiknye.. extra class smpai lwt pagi..

hermm..

masih segar d ingatan balik dr kelas jln sorg2 awal pagi..

melalui foodcourt n hostel yg sunyi time sume nyenyak tido..

makan sahur, tido jap, then bangun smayang n terus p kelas..

bersedia mental fizikal..

me 'numb' kan perasaan supaya x trlalu trase bile d marah lec 

time presentation n teaching..

badan pon da sekerempeng mcm skeleton sbb berat da turun..

time tu baru phm betapa rehat + tido tu 

adlah nikmat Allah yg sgt bsr..

( ramadhan n saya )

taun ni sempat berawal ramadhan d rumah..

tiap2 hari 1 family wt tadarus.. (weekend)

ayah ckp..taun ni kite wt lain ckit..

berlumba2 habiskan al-Quran tp x phm maknanye pon 

kurang bg kesan kt jiwa jgk..

so, duk dlm bulatan, bace dgn maknanye sekali..

i enjoyed it :)

lg2 bile ayat tu betol2 mngetuk jiwa..

herm..ramadhan taun ni alhamdulillah

sgt bermakna  + signifikan utk sy..

^_^

nota kaki :

sakit pinggang menyiapkan preparation utk openhouse esok.

aduss.

. . . . . .My Way. . . . . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

sometimes hati mengeluh, perlu ruang utk brnafas..

dugaan dtg silih brganti..

fitnah n pgkhianatan sy trime dgn hati terbuka..

bkn brmakne sy mengiyakan..

tp redha dgn ketentuan Allah..

tahun ni tahun yg payah..

dahla d uji dgn kesetiaan dlm prsahabatan..

teman yg disyangi plk d panggil Tuhan..

hati semakin mati, keras mmbatu..

da lme air mata x menitis..

shinggakan dtgnye berita kematian org yg d kasihi..

tp nape sy seolah2 x phm ??

org slalu ckp,

da 7 tahun dpt sntuhan tarbiyah,

tp still wt ksalahan yg same..

sy mntak maaf..

mmg btl da 7 tahun, tp sape jamin 7 tahun tu dhargai ??

sblm2 ni sy just follow the flow 
dgn kefahaman yg tramat ckit..

kt dunia ni xde sape yg maksum..

kcuali nabi n rasul..

brhentilah brgantung pd manusia..

sbb manusia itu lemah..

leads to nowhere..

empty, zero gravity..

 اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ

tunjukilah kami jalan yg lurus..

صِرَاطَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ غَيْرِ الْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا الضَّالِّينَ

iaitu jalan org2 yg Engkau kurniakan nikmat kpd mereka, 

bkn jalan org2 yg Engkau murkai 

dan bukan pula jn org2 yg sesat.

nota kaki :
to Mr Suhaimi,
 hope Allah tunjuk kpd kite jln keluar, insyaAllah. :')

. . . . . .PApa. . . . . .

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

papa.

sape org yg paling papa ?

Rasululah penah bersabda,

" org yg papa adalah org yg kembali kpd Allah

dgn mmbawa bekalan amalan yg byk. "

tp dsbbkan perbuatannye d dunia byk mnyakiti org lain,

maka, org2 yg disakiti td akn menuntut.

shingga amalan2 kebaikan td habis.

kemudian Allah perintahkan malaikat 

utk mncampakkannye ke dlm neraka Allah.

cmne la ngn amalan kite..

ikram kite trhadap saudara2 kite..

hermm..

insyaAllah, kite byk2 berckp psl Allah.

1000 ckp, 1 masuk dlm hati.

usaha lg n lg..

peringatan ! T_T

iman lemah maybe kite akan wt silap

dan Allah cuci dlm nerakaNya

kemudian masuk ke dlm syurga..

TAPI !!

iman terpesong kekal dlm neraka selama2nye..

oleh tu, bentuk iman yg sempurna sbagaimana 

yakinnya Ibrahim a.s terhadap Allah swt.

nota kaki :

Salam Aidilfitri buat bloggers sume. maaf zahir n batin.

^_^